


A Breathless Moment

by haaruchan



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Asthma, Im Changkyun | I.M-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27022867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haaruchan/pseuds/haaruchan
Summary: Changkyun has asthma.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Everyone
Kudos: 183





	A Breathless Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :)) This will be my first Monsta x fanfic. I have stopped writing fanfics for a while now so I'm excited to be getting back to it. I hope you guys enjoy this <3
> 
> *Also, please note that english is not my first language so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors.
> 
> That's all. Happy reading!

As soon as Changkyun opened his eyes that morning, he knew that was something was off. There is a tightness to his chest. A sensation that felt as if something heavy is pressing against it. He placed his hand on his chest and he can feel his heart beat a little faster than what is considered normal. He closed his eyes and sighed.

His asthma is probably going to give him some issues today.

All his life, Changkyun has suffered from asthma. He doesn't really remember when was the first time he had an asthma attack but his mom told him it was when he was very young. They had to rushed him to the hospital after his cousin found him crying and coughing harshly on the floor of his playroom.

Although, it doesn't matter whether he can remember it or not because after his first attack there were many more that came after. Which results in many trips to the hospital until the said place became like a second home to him.

However, as he grew older, his asthma attack did became rarer. So rare that the last time he had an attack was during his trainee days with Nubility. When he worked his body beyond its limit and suffered inadvertently. After he joined Monsta x his condition has improved greatly. He does occasionally get this kind of tightness to his chest on some days but it was never nothing too bad. All he had to do was take a few puffs from his inhaler throughout the day when it gets a bit unbearable, make sure he doesn't push himself too hard, drink lots of water and he'll call it a day.

Changkyun believe that today was going to be another one of those days. Nothing too bad. He just have to be careful not to exert himself too much.

As he was thinking about this, he felt a hand gently shake his shoulder.

"Changkyun ah. It's time to wake up."

It's Kihyun. Changkyun didn't even notice when the older man had step into his room.

"I'm up hyung." Changkyun opened his eyes and replied. His voice sounded a little breathless which didn't go unnoticed by Kihyun.

"Are you okay?" Kihyun asked as he gently brushed Changkyun's hair.

Changkyun wanted to lie and say he is fine but he knew better. His members are all aware of his asthma condition. He had informed and explained to them in their earlier debut days. They had immediately set out a rule that Changkyun must inform them if he feels sick or tired especially with their line of work. Extra precautions were necessary. Changkyun understood and respected that so he had agreed. The members have also been very careful at observing his condition and every time he shows any signs of discomfort. Kihyun probably the most out of all the members. Heck, he even carries another set of inhaler around for Changkyun. It still amazed him to this day how much they all care. Changkyun didn't want to worry them even more but he also didn't want to lie to them. Not after he had promised not to. So he told Kihyun the truth.

"My chest feels a little tight."

"Okay baby. Thank you for telling me." The pet name easily. It always does when he's feeling sick or upset. Changkun let out a soft smile.

Kihyun continued to lightly run his fingers through Changkyun's hair. The motion felt soothing to Changkyun. He closed his eyes again.

"In a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate it?"

Changkyun thought about it for a moment. "4."

"Okay. Do you think you're up for our schedule today?"

"Yes. I'm up for it." Changkyun looked directly at Kihyun's eyes as he said this to reassure his hyung.

"Alright. You know what to do if you feel worse. Make sure you don't forget your inhaler. Put it in your bag or your pocket before you come out for breakfast." Kihyun reminded him. "Do you need a puff now?"

Changkyun nodded and Kihyun turned to grab his inhaler on the side table.

"Here. Open wide." Kihyun placed the inhaler directly in front of Changkyun's mouth.

"Hyung..." Changkyun whined. "I can do it myself."

Kihyun just chuckled but made no motion to pass the inhaler to Changkyun, still holding it up for the younger man.

"I never said you can't. I just want to do it for you so now be a good maknae and open wide."

\---

After showering, Changkyun quickly packed his bag and went down to the kitchen. There is still a tightness to his chest but it wasn't as bad as when he first woke up. The inhaler had definitely helped. When he entered the kitchen he saw that all of his members are present and munching various types of breakfast. He walked towards his usual seat and sat down.

"Ah good morning makdoongie!" Minhyuk greeted the maknae with a huge smile on his face and a mouth full of food. Kihyun let out a displeased sound at that.

"Morning hyung." Changkyun greeted back. He grabbed a piece of toast and some blueberry jam. He doesn't really have an appetite but they had a full schedule today so he needs to at least fill some of his energy.

"Kihyun told us you are not 100% percent today. Take it easy today okay?" Hyunwoo spoke as he took a sip of his coffee. Changkyun noticed that the other members were listening in despite pretending to be busy with their food. He tried to suppressed his chuckle.

"I will hyung."

"Good. Now hurry up and eat. Manager hyung will be here in 10 minutes."

\---

Despite his earlier optimism that he was going to make it through the day, Changkyun felt his chest became tighter and tighter as the day goes on. He has also started to cough every now and then. Changkyun pulled out his inhaler from his pocket and took another puff. This would be his third puff of the day. He will have to wait for a couple of hours for more. After taking his puff, Changkyun slid down on the practice room floor, feeling his energy draining. He had somehow made it through dance practice without fainting. Although, it did make him feel worse. He was breathless, sweaty and all he wants at that very moment is his bed.

"Hey, you okay?" Changkyun looked up and saw Jooheon looking down at him. "Here. Drink some water." Jooheon slid down next to Changkyun and passed him the water bottle.

"Thanks hyung." Changkyun unscrewed the cap and begin to drink some water. "I'm okay. It's just that my chest still feels a little too tight."

Jooheon frowned at this. "Do you need to go home? We have that magazine interview after this but I'm sure manager hyung can talk to the management and excuse you. It won't be a big deal." Changkyun let out a small snort.

"Hyung, we both know how that is like...impossible. The management wouldn't allow it. They have already postponed this magazine interview once when Hyungwon hyung got that cold. It took them forever to work out a new date because of schedule. They finally found a date that works for both our side. There's no way they will postpone it again just for me." Changkyun finished his words with a cough and took another sip of water.

Jooheon rubbed Changkyun's back soothingly. "You're right. But it still sucks and I'm not happy that your health is not first. Who cares how many times we have to postpone it? Health is always the priority." Changkyun said nothing to that and merely nodded his head.

"Jooheon ah, Changkyun ah, come on, get change out of those sweaty clothes, it's time for our next schedule." Wonho called out to the two rappers. They both looked up and saw the other members leaving the practice room. Jooheon stood up and proceeded to help Changkyun to his feet. As they both walk towards the door, Changkyun coughed a couple of times and placed a hand on his chest. He couldn't help but admit to himself how awful he feels.

\----

Changkyun couldn't stop coughing.

He coughed while they were changing into the fresh set of clothes put out for them.

He coughed all the way through their car ride.

He coughed as they were walking into the building where the interview will be held.

He coughed while he was getting his makeup done.

He coughed while trying to force himself to eat his lunch.

He just couldn't stop _coughing_.

His chest hurts and his throat was beginning to feel like there is something stuck in it. Every intake of breath feels painful. Like it was not enough. Like he was not getting enough air into his lungs. Which was probably the case.

Each time he let out a cough, his members would look at him and frowned. Each of them are not happy that Changkyun was not allowed to go home until after the magazine interview. Their manager hyung had called the management about Changkyun's condition. They agreed that he can skip the rest of their schedule today except for this magazine interview. It was deemed too 'important' to be missing a member. He can go home after the interview is done.

The members could see that Chankyun's asthma is getting worse. They did their best to support him; always asking if he's alright, always passing him some water to drink and let him lean his head on their shoulder to rest. They weren't sure if this was helpful but there weren't anything else they can do. Changkyun however, was grateful for all the support and care. He was beginning to feel lightheaded. He knew it was because he was not getting enough oxygen. The support and care from his members at least made it bearable for him to endure.

"Manager hyung, there is no way Changkyun can participate in this interview. He can't stop coughing. His asthma is bad today. Can't you try again with the management?" Changkyun heard Kihyun and Wonho argued with the manager hyung for how many times that day since they got into the waiting room for the magazine interview. Apart of Changkyun wanted to stop them but he was feeling really breathless and tired. Maybe he does need to go home and rest until his asthma goes away. There is also the issue of him having to sit through an interview without coughing. That is impossible. There is no way he can control that despite what the management might think. He bit his bottom lip worryingly. What was wrong with him today? It has been too long since his asthma had gotten this bad. He had almost forgot the feeling.

"Just because his asthma is not that 'bad' according to management does not mean we should take it for granted!" Kihyun raised his voice and glared angrily at the manager hyung. Hyunwoo immediately went to the younger male to grab his shoulder. "Kihyun ah calm down. Manager hyung did his best to convince the management but you know how stubborn they are."

"Hyung this is totally not okay! How can they-" Changkyun was no longer paying attention to their conversation. His breath was becoming shorter and shorter. He felt his panic rising. He couldn't breathe.

"Changkyun? What's wrong??" Hyungwon noticed the change in Changkyun's demeanor and breathing. He gently pulled the maknae down to sit next to him on the couch.

"I can't breathe." Changkyun informed the older man. He pressed his hand on his chest and leaned against him. Hyungwon could feel his own panic rising at this new information.

"Okay. Okay. Shit. Okay...what do you need??" Hyungwon gestured for Changkyun to lay down on the couch as he frantically look around for the inhaler.

"I don't know. I just can't breathe." Changkyun closed his eyes and let out a harsh cough.

"What's going on??" Hyungwon looked up and saw the rest of the members crowding around the couch. It wasn't surprising as Changkyun's breathing was getting louder and shallower which definitely caught their attention.

"Changkyun said he can't breathe." Hyungwon told the others as he placed the inhaler on top of Changkyun's mouth. Changkyun shook his head slowly.

"I already had 3 puffs hyung." Changkyun wheezed and coughed harshly again.

"It's okay to take one more puff baby. You won't overdose." Kihyun kneeled down next to the couch and took the inhaler from Hyungwon. "Come on, open up." Changkyun obediently opened his mouth.

"It is helping?" Minhyuk spoke up from above Changkyun's head on the couch by the arm. Changkyun nodded weakly, feeling his throat open up a bit. Wonho held one of Changkyun's hand and thumbed it gently. "Just rest and try to breathe in slowly okay? Everything will be fine. Hyung is here for you."

"Alright. Changkyun won't join our interview." Kihyun stood up and spoke firmly. He raised his brow at manager hyung, daring the older man to say no as the other members continued to fuss over the maknae.

"This will not only give me but you boys as well, trouble with the management but yes, Changkyun is not fit to do this interview. We will do the damage fixing later." The manager hyung sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Kihyun smiled gratefully at the older man.

"Thank you hyung. I'm sorry I was rude earlier." He apologised genuinely. He knew he was out of line. It wasn't manager hyung's fault. He is not the decision-maker of Monsta x. He doesn't have much say for things just like them.

"It's okay Kihyun. I know how much you care about that boy. Same goes for the rest of you." Manager hyung gestured to the others. "Changkyun can rest here while you boys finish your interview. After that I will drop him at the dorm before sending you guys to your next schedule." They all nodded at this. Relieved that Changkyun was finally and officially off work.

\----

Changkyun was resting on the couch while waiting for his hyungs to finish their interview. He kept his eyes close, however, he found it difficult to fall asleep. The earlier relief he got from his inhaler felt like miles away now. He can feel the tightness of his throat and the ache in his chest again. He started coughing harshly. Again and again.

Changkyun stood up from the couch and walked to the door. He needed to find the manager hyung or any one of the staff. Something was awfully wrong. Deep inside him he knew that if he didn't find someone soon, he'd be in deep trouble. Changkyun begin to walk through the hallway as his eyes frantically search around for his manager and staff. He has started to wheeze which force him to stop a couple of times and lean against the wall. Black dots have also started to appear on his line of vision. He felt really lightheaded.

Changkyun heard some laughter upfront and after walking more he saw two staff lounging by the stairs. They were part of the editor's team. Changkyun recognised them from the introduction session they were given to prior the interview. Changkyun headed towards them.

Changkyun was so focus on trying not to pass out that he did not notice that one of them was holding a cigarette in one hand. As Changkyun drew closer to them he was suddenly attacked by a large puff of smoke directly on his face. Changkyun gasped and stepped back quickly. One of the editor's team stood up and quickly walked towards him.

"Hey, Changkyun-shi are you okay???" Changkyun could not reply to him as he started to wheeze and fell onto the floor. He curled up like a fetus and hit his chest a couple of times to try and get some air into his lungs. "Changkyun-shi??!!"

Changkyun continued to wheeze painfully. He can't breathe!

He tried not to panic but he can't get a breath in. He could feel his tears running down his cheeks. Everything hurts so bad. He desperately needs air. God, he needs air. Why can't he get some air?? Why is there no one helping him??? Why are the two staff not doing anything and get some help?? Where are his hyungs?? He wants his hyungs.

Changkyun was in so much pain that he did not notice the loud thundering of feet running towards him nor the loud yell of 'Changkyun!' and 'baby!' directed at him. He was slowly losing his consciousness. The black spots in his vision growing bigger and bigger. Changkyun believe he was going to die. He was going to die because of his stupid asthma and he was going to die because his stupid lungs that can't work normally like other people.

"Changkyun! Baby, hyung is here! It's okay." Changkyun felt someone lifted his head up and placed it on something soft. He wasn't sure what it was but it was definitely better than the floor. "Stay with me. It's going to be alright. I need you to stay awake okay? Baby, stay awake for hyung."

"Ki-ki..hyun...hyung....I can't....I can't breathe." Changkyun wheezed loudly and sobbed. Feeling both scared and relieved that his hyungs are here.

"I know. I know baby. It's okay. We are getting you help okay? Just hold on." Kihyun held Changkyun hand and pushed his hair out of his forehead.

"He's having an asthma attack right now isn't he?? Oh my God! What do we do??! Has somebody called the ambulance??!" Changkyun heard whom he thinks is Minhyuk hyung yelling. He sounded scared.

"His lips are so....blue....." Someone said shakily. Changkyun sourced for the owner and saw Jooheon shaking in Hyungwon's arms just behind Kihyun.

"They're on their way. Everyone calm down." Was that the manager hyung? Out of the corner of his eyes Changkyun thought he saw his two eldest members screaming angrily at the editor's team staff but he wasn't too sure at this point. All he wants to do right now is fall asleep. He was so tired.

The last memory Changkyun had before he succumbed to darkness is someone placing something over his nose and mouth and then it was nothing.

\----

Changkyun woke up to the loud sound of a machine buzzing in the background. The sound was familiar to him. He had an oxygen mask on and he could feel that there was something shoved down his throat. He sighed internally. He should have known. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It was just that after all these years without any attacks, he had took it for granted. At least it was over and he could finally breathe. It didn't hurt anymore.

Changkyun looked around his surroundings and saw three of his members in various positions around the hospital room. Kihyun was sat on a chair next to his bed, busy typing something away on his phone. Hyunwoo was lying down the couch, dozing off and Wonho was on the floor, writing something on his notebook. He briefly wondered where are the other three members when he felt someone nudged him by his shoulder.

"Changkyun. You're awake." Kihyun smiled at him. He looked relieved. "How are you feeling?" At the sound of Kihyun's voice, both Wonho and Hyunwoo became alert and left their position to come closer to the bed.

"Hey there Kkukkungie. So nice to see you grace us with your presence." Wonho greeted him as he sat by the foot of his bed. Despite his seemingly cheerful tone, Changkyun noticed that he had a small frown on his face even though he tried to hide it.

It hit Changkyun then that this would be the first time his members saw his asthma attack. He had told them what it was like to have them but to see it first hand must have terrified them. At this realization, a small lump of worry started to form in his stomach. He worried if he had scared them too much. Or if they thought that his condition was a burden to the team.

"Hey stop that." Kihyun pinched his cheek. "I know what you are thinking. No one is mad. Stop worrying." Changkyun adverted his eyes, not believing his hyung.

"I mean it Changkyun. No one is mad. You are not a burden. We are a little freaked out yes. But we are not mad. We are relieved more than anything." Kihyun insisted as he gently turned Changkyun's face to look at him. "Okay baby?" Changkyun adverted his gaze worryingly towards Wonho. Seeing this, Wonho immediately leaned forward and grabbed his hand.

"Hyung's okay." Wonho quickly said as he kissed Changkyun's hand. "I'm just worried. I hate seeing you in pain and looking so sick. Hyung is not used to seeing you so pale baby." Changkyun felt a tear escaped his eyes.

"Hey, hey, don't cry." Wonho reached up and wiped the tear away. "Please don't cry baby. I promise you, I'll be okay. Now that you are awake, I'll be okay. We will all be." Changkyun nodded but he couldn't stop the tears from falling. "Oh baby..." Wonho whispered sadly as he pecked the maknae's cheek. "You must have been so scared. Hyung's sorry."

Changkyun tried to ask where Jooheon, Hyungwon and Minhyuk were but he couldn't talk but his hyungs understood him anyways.

"Oh is that what's worrying you?" Hyunwoo asked as he stood closer to the bed. "The other three are in the waiting room. They wanted to wait here too but the doctor didn't allow for too many people to be here. She wanted to you to rest and sleep as much as you can." Changkyun nodded again, feeling a little relieved at his hyungs reassurance.

"Although, I am not going to lie, Jooheon's a little more freaked out than the rest of us but he will be fine, Minhyuk and Hyungwon are with him so please don't worry and stop crying maknae ah. We're fine. Everything's going to be alright."

The three hyungs eventually managed to calm the maknae down. He is currently listening to some music from Wonho's phone and headphones, his eyes closed. Kihyun smiled as he looked at the maknae, glad that he is feeling better. The doctor informed them that once Changkyun's oxygen levels are up to normal, they can bring him home. But that won't be for another couple of hours. He went back to his phone as he settled back on his chair. Hyunwoo was dozing off again behind him on the couch. The older man must have been tired. Wonho on the other hand, have left the room to fetch the other three members to see Changkyun. Kihyun didn't even want to think about what was going through their minds as the waited agonisingly in the waiting room without being able to see Changkyun. He is glad that they get to see him now.

Kihyun stopped playing with his phone when he heard the door opened. He looked towards it and saw the rest of the members walked in, Wonho being the last to enter and closing the door. He then noticed that Jooheon was holding tightly onto Minhyuk's arms. The second maknae's eyes are wide as he took in the surroundings. As soon as his eyes landed on Changkyun, they turned even wider and his body started to shake a little.

"He's okay." Kihyun quickly assured him. "The oxygen mask is just helping him breathe a little better. The worse of it is over. He's doing great now." Jooheon nodded as Hyungwon rubbed his back soothingly.

"Is he awake?" Jooheon braved himself and stepped out of Minhyuk's arm. He walked towards the bed and stopped tight next to Kihyun.

"Why don't you find out?" Kihyun grabbed his hand and pulled him a little closer to the bed, encouraging him. The other members minus the dozed off leader just stood quietly watching the exchange. A soft smile on their faces.

Jooheon leaned down towards the maknae and slowly poked his finger on Changkyun's cheek. Changkyun flinched slightly as he was startled out of his daydreaming but as soon as he opened his eyes and saw that it was Jooheon, he proceeded to grabbed his hand and gestured for the older to join him on the bed. Jooheon beamed brightly and plopped himself down on the bed, cuddling the maknae as much as he could.

"Careful." Kihyun said with a chuckle. His eyes looking at the two rappers fondly. "Be mindful of the wires Jooheon-ah." Jooheon merely nodded and opened his phone to find a movie to watch with the maknae. Changkyun took off the headphones he was wearing so that Jooheon can put one side of his earphones into his ears while he wore the other one.

"How are you guys holding up?" Kihyun turned his attention from the two maknaes to Minhyuk and Hyungwon who have settled themselves at the foot of the bed.

"We're okay." Hyungwon honestly said. "It's good to see him awake." Kihyun nodded.

"It is definitely scary, to see him like that. But this is a good reminder for all of us including the management to not take his condition lightly. We will be more careful the next time around."

Minhyuk nodded in agreement. "I'm still mad at the staff that was smoking. He knew we had a member with asthma and he still smoke inside the premise. Why couldn't he do it outside? I'm glad Hyunwoo hyung and Wonho hyung told him off."

"Me too." Hyungwon sighed. "I think we have all learned something from this incident. Although I wished Changkyun didn't have to suffer in the first place for us to learn something. Especially the management."

"It is unfortunate." Kihyun frowned. "However, next time we will be more prepared. For now lets just be thankful that Changkyunnie is okay."

\----

After 3 more hours, Changkyun was finally allowed to go home. He felt happy that he can rest in his dorm, on his bed, instead of the cold hospital room. His body felt tired and sore but that is to be expected. All he needs is a good night sleep and he will be as good as new. He still felt bad for scaring his hyungs but he also felt happy to see how much they cared for him. They couldn't stop fussing over him. It does annoy him every now and then but Changkyun understood that was their way of reassuring themselves that he was okay. Jooheon also stuck to him like a glue, not that Changkyun minded. He loved his Jooheonnie hyung and spending time with him was always fun. Changkyun had also promised himself that he will be extra careful in the future so that his asthma won't be this bad ever again. The day after tomorow, the management would like to have a meeting with him and the members to discuss his condition. He doesn't know whether it is a good or a bad thing but he knows his hyungs will be there to defend him. They would definitely fight for the management to treat his condition seriously and not put him in any risk in the future. New rules and conditions are definitely needed to be put in place. Both from the management's side and his side. It will be hard but he will do his best. But that is a matter to worry about when it comes.

For now, he wants to enjoy his hyungs attention as much as he can.

For now, he just wants to breathe.

End.

\---


End file.
